by Crystal Nanavati

Rounding out our very busy weekend after Toys for Tots and the Flyer, was SlutWalk Singapore.

SlutWalk began early in the year when a police offer in Toronto essentially told college students the way not to get raped was to not dress provocatively.  Slutwalk began as a response to that – that there is something wrong with a culture that teaches “don’t get raped” instead of “don’t rape”… where the blame and the responsibility are put on the victim, rather than the perpetrator.  But it has grown into a larger movement, where we also talk about slut-shaming (girls who like sex get what’s coming to them) and the way that women (particularly girls) use “slut/slutty” to demean each other whether they have had sex or not.  It is frustrating to live in a time of so much advancement and change and to know that there is still a dominant cultural narrative that says a man’s libido is such a dangerous thing that it can be triggered by my clothes, the way I move my body, or my very existence as a woman such that he can not/should not be held responsible for any of his action… that if I get raped,  touched innapropriately, groped, shamed, taunted, or otherwise attacked that it is MY fault.

art by Eric Reynolds

I have been objectified, slut-shamed, and made to feel bad about myself sexually speaking (and sadly these are just 5 examples, I could keep going for hours)…

• - When I was 10/11, my baby sitter’s husband touched me inappropriately.  There was an investigation (complete with the “show me on the doll”) and my babysitter lost her license.  Her husband was not fined, arrested, or punished in any way.  I questioned for years if I had done something to make him think I’d ‘wanted’ it or did something deserve it.  To this day, I can not watch the movie that was on the TV when it happened.
• - In high school, during my freshman year (I was 14 years old), I had my first kiss.  He and I made the mistake of telling someone who then told enough people that gossip began.  The story changed from C and X kissed to C and X had sex.  I was so embarrassed and shamed that I avoided that friend (who until then had been my closest friend) for the better part of a year.  I feel very lucky that we’ve rebuilt our friendship, but we were never again as close as we were before that kiss.
• - In college I would occasionally go out to dance clubs.  Initially I just went to the dance clubs up the street from my university.  However, no matter what I wore – jeans, short skirts, you name it, the night always involved at least several instances of men touching me in a way that was not okay (groping my breasts, and in one lovely instance, trying to put his hand up my skirt multiple times after I had told him no and moved to a different part of the club, among others).  In large part, this was why I started going to gay clubs.  Any time I went to a straight club, I accepted that I was ‘inviting’ a specific type of attention.
• - I lost my virginity at 18.  From then until now I’ve had a number of sexual partners.  But until my husband, I often felt like I should reduce my ‘number’ in order to not seem like a slut.  Because a slut was the kind of girl you had sex with, not the girl you considered having a serious relationship with.  In my early 20s, I would ask the guy his number first and then adjust mine accordingly.
• - Let’s face it, although I write erotica, I don’t do it under my actual name.  I care significantly less than I used to when I was a teacher and it carried the very real possible consequence of my losing my job, but I still choose to write under a pen name for my own comfort.

I am the mother of two daughters.  I want them to grow up with a healthy relationship with their bodies and their sexuality.  But we live in a world where at some point I will need to have a discussion with them about how the image they project with their clothes and their actions will affect how people perceive their character.  How sexuality can bring you power, but will be the first tool used in your downfall (let’s talk about Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky – he’ll always be the former president and she’ll always be the slut who gave him a blow job).  That using sex is like playing on a knife’s edge.

With all of this in mind, the moment I heard about the SlutWalk movement, I was interested.  However, I was never home when I could have attended one near home.  I was frustrated because I was certain that Singapore’s repressive sexual culture would never allow for a SlutWalk here.

I was happy to be wrong.

One of the musical acts (Seyra). Beautiful voice.

Sunday was, again, a rainy drizzly day.  Ravi (my husband) was ill, so if I wanted to go to SlutWalk with the girls (and bringing the girls was non-negotiable in my eyes), then I was going to do it on my own.  So I packed up the girls, and we headed out to Hong Lim Park.

SlutWalk Singapore was in many ways an experience that brought back a lot of nostalgia for me.  When I was in college I was far more idealistic than I am now.  I was more likely to go march in a rally or passionately argue for hours.  To focus on very large goals like “let’s change the rape culture.”

These days I’m a more cynical woman.  I have limited time and funds, and I tend to focus on things like harassing my elected officials for smaller, more measurable goals (publicly breastfeeding without harassment, for example. In Massachussetts you could in theory ask me to leave, but you’ll be hit with a 500 dollar fine for doing so).  I tend to believe in things like going after Sarah Palin and her state congress for charging rape victims for the rape kits used at the hospital to prove if they were raped or not, and criticizing Apple’s Siri program for it’s incredibly anti-female bias when it comes to abortion and rape.

But attending an event like this, one where the organizers had hoped for a 300 person turnout and got a 600+ person turnout reminds me of the girl I was and how good it can feel to join together and fight for a cause, no matter how large and improbable it might be in the short run.

Ellie, my daughter, at SlutWalk (Photo by Emilie Oehlers)

That SlutWalk got 600+ attendees in the rain in Singapore is an achievement worth applauding  (Hong Lim Park turned to a muddy morass – Ellie wore her wellies, but my flip-flops and feet were covered in mud.  I was lucky that Ms Demeanour let me park my stroller under the tent she was manning to keep it dry.  Thanks to Martha for introducing us.  Rhi ended up in the sling.)

I also applaud the organizers for persevering in the face of truly disgusting public reaction (read the comments on any article about SlutWalk in Singapore) and having the courage to create one here.  To keep perspective, while Singapore Slutwalk happened, the organizers of SlutWalk Bangalore were arrested when trying to tell potential attendees that the event had been cancelled (due to pressure from right-wing groups).

I’m not informed enough about Singaporean politics to understand how one advocates for change.  As this Wall Street Journal piece notes:

Much of Singapore’s society remains male-dominated, with few women holding top business and government roles, and some laws biased against female sexual-assault victims, activists say. Marital rape isn’t illegal here, while legislation currently allows sexual-assault victims to be discredited as witnesses if shown to have a “generally immoral character.”

Obviously, there is a lot of work to be done here to advocate for women’s rights.

As a foreigner, how much I can speak out about politics is strictly limited by the government.  How much I should is a much murkier question, as I strongly oppose forcing my cultural values on women who may not want them (example: the whole forcing Muslim girls to abandon the hijab in France thing – good intentions, horrible idea in forcing Western feminism on other women without trying to understand that feminism looks different in every culture).  Let’s not for an instant forget my own culture isn’t exactly a shining example to the world in how to fix all of the issues swirling around female sexuality and the rape culture.  This Pennyslvania Liquor Control Commission Ad wants me to know that if I drink too much, it’s my fault that my friend is getting raped in the bathroom – I don’t even begin to know how to address all of the WRONG in that ad or which officials to complain to.

I’ve read some of the coverage on SlutWalk Singapore and am a bit frustrated that the articles tended to focus on the whole “hey, there’s a rare protest in Singapore” rather than the content of the protest.  But that there was attention paid at all is a good thing.  Maybe next year we can focus on why we were protesting, not that we were protesting in the first place.

Yes, that’s me (and Rhi, my other daughter, in the sling) in the AP picture.  Photo credit: Bryan van der Beek

The first step in getting something changed is to get people to talk about it and to acknowledge that there is an issue.  Then you can begin to change it.  So any time there is a chance for me to speak out and say that rape culture and slut-shaming are wrong, I will be there.  My daughters deserve to grow up in a culture that teaches “don’t rape” instead of “don’t get raped.”  My daughters deserve to grow up in a world where their sexuality is seen as a good thing, not a destructive thing.  I want to know that I wasn’t quiet; that I spoke out, showed up, educated, and harassed my elected officials into trying to change something that was wrong.

We didn’t stay as long as I would have wanted, had the weather been more cooperative, but we showed up.

We’ll see you at SlutWalk 2012.

–

Crystal Nanavati moved to Singapore from the US in early 2010.  She writes the blog Expat Bostonians about her experiences in Singapore, as well as fiction. When not writing training as a sex coach specializing in pregnancy and post-partum sexuality, and is raising two very young feminists; Elanor (age 3) and Rhiannon (born October 2011). She is passionate about reproductive freedom.

by Tania De Rozario

For me, it was not the physical gathering nor the 600 people who showed up at Hong Lim Park that rendered Singapore’s inaugural SlutWalk a success; it was the conversation and introspection that have come out of it. Much of the controversy that has come out of the event has revolved around the use of the word slut: Does it serve an actual purpose? Do we really need to use it? Is using it counter-productive in a conservative Asian country such as ours? Should we be trying to reclaim it?

At the SlutWalk Post-Event Retrospective, a man who seemed well-intentioned enough at first, said that he believed SlutWalk was not palatable to the masses. He positioned himself as a privileged, heterosexual, Chinese male who was finding it hard to believe that victim-blaming actually exists. I think everyone, including myself, was pretty open-minded to his responses until he suggested that what was needed to get the masses (and him)  onboard, was to get rape survivors (rape victims, as he preferred) to tell their stories online, as evidence that they exist. For some reason, to him, the onus of getting society to understand a culture of rape and victim-blaming is on the individuals who have been raped.

Does anyone else find this problematic?

I have never been raped.  But I personally know five women who have. And among my friends, I am hard-pressed to identify any woman who has not been sexually assaulted at least once in their lifetime. Growing up, I had friends who were molested by tuition teachers, groped on trains, flashed at in the stairwells of their own HDB flats. As a young woman, I had friends who were sexually harassed by bosses, who were expected to sleep their way to success, who were taken advantage of in clubs where normally unacceptable behaviour on the parts of assholes looking to cop a feel, were diluted with apologies of supposed intoxication. And in the more recent years of adulthood, all I have learned is that this behaviour does not stop. You do not need to look very far to be aware of the fact that rape and sexual assault exist. In my opinion, you have to be not wanting to see it, in order to be unaware of it.

I myself have been molested a number of times over the course of my lifetime. As a child, when I my mother left me alone on a tour bus to accompany the other tourists on a souvenir-buying spree, the tour guide got back on the bus and decided that sitting me on his lap and rubbing me against his genitals was a good idea. As a teenager, I had my arse groped in a club. As an adult, a motorcyclist passed me as I was walking along the street with my partner, slowed down, grabbed one of my breasts, hard, and sped off. None of these incidences ever got reported. Either I was too young to fully understand what was going on, or was in too much shock to identify an individual or license plate within a crucial five-second gap.

One of the most vivid incidents for me occurred when I was twelve. I was on the bus home from school and a man, dressed in a suit, a briefcase on his lap, sat down next to me. Over the course of the journey, I felt him moving his arm slowly, almost imperceptibly, up and down against the side of my chest. I continued to feel it even when the bus paused at stops, and my gut told me that I was being molested. But at twelve, I did not have the emotional vocabulary nor personal agency to challenge him on it, or even to stand up and leave. However, at twelve, these are the concerns I did already have: What if I am imagining this? What if people stare? Why would he even choose me? If I tell someone, will they believe me?

It sounds vulgar, boiling my body down to bits – where I have been touched, in what manner, for how long. But guess what: violating someone’s body is a vulgar act. I isolate my body parts like pieces of meat at a slaughterhouse when narrating the abovementioned incidents because that is what those incidents did to me.

We live in a society where sexual violation occurs on many levels but yet, talking about it makes us uncomfortable. For the most part, I consider myself a fairly intelligent and confident person. I am self-aware enough to list the bullshit that I will not take and compassionate enough to forgive myself for taking the bullshit that I sometimes, on a bad day, do. And yet, it is still hard talking about this stuff. And if someone like me finds it uncomfortable relating experiences of one-off molests, how hard must it be for a survivor of rape to talk about what has happened to them?

One of the questions that was raised at SlutWalk Retrospective was the validity, both cultural and contextual, of retaining the word slut for the SlutWalk cause. My gut reaction:

How can we not?

Rape and sexual assault happen everywhere, including in our homes, many times perpetrated by someone the survivor knows. Besides being inexcusable acts of violence and entitlement, rape and sexual assault are also often a means of policing women’s sexualities and bodies.  So is the word slut, for which there is no male equivalent.

The word slut is a punishment for women who are sexually autonomous. But because there is no solid definition about what level or range of sexual autonomy is acceptable at any given time, it can be used to define anything from a woman/girl who has slept with one too many people for someone else’s comfort, to a woman/girl who shows more skin than is acceptable to any random individual. The moral elasticity of the term also aids in creating excuses for people who rape, to justify their behaviour.

Like most problematic labels, the word slut is symptomatic of existing cultural norms. Like most problematic labels, when used, it moves from being symptomatic to causal. Language reflects societal norms but it also reinforces them. That being said, how can we not use the term slut in relation to a movement like SlutWalk? What other word in our vocabulary sums up so much of what is wrong with the way in which our culture views and polices women?

With all this in mind, you can understand why someone getting on a microphone and suggesting that a good way of justifying an event like SlutWalk is getting survivors to re-live their trauma to satisfy his need for ’evidence’ – assuming flippantly that a survivor of rape would or should come forward to contribute to a spectacle he feels entitled to witness, putting the onus on the victim of the crime, the survivor of violence, to tell their story in order to help change a society which has accommodated the crime to begin with – made me feel vaguely homicidal.

Here are some of the questions I would like to have responded with, had I not been so intent on sitting on my own hands, muzzling my inner hydra, and being appalled at how someone who claimed to be so intellectually aware of his own privilege, was clearly so emotionally and experientially not:

Why is it that we instinctively look for rape survivors to tell their stories in order to believe the statistics? Why do we not make it mandatory for convicted rapists to confess their crimes publicly instead? Why do we place the onus of social transformation on the survivor of the crime and not the criminal? Why do we place the onus of social transformation on the survivor of the crime and not on the society that has somehow turned rape into a part-and-parcel of the everyday? Can society only be moved to action by a collective pity for rape survivors, and not by a collective hatred for the act of rape?

We oppress and police women through the violence of rape and sexual assault, through the powers of language and law, through horrendous rape-report procedures, through the normalising of misogynistic cultures, procedures and ethics. And then, when a survivor of rape and/or sexual assault who manages to brave all they have been through to actually file a report and/or come to terms with what has happened, we want them to testify in cyberspace as well…because for some reason, we need a talking head to justify an event that takes a stand against victim-blaming and against rape.

Shouldn’t we, as a society, be putting a little less emphasis on turning survivors into spectacles and a little more emphasis on policing criminals?

As a twelve-year-old who was not empowered enough to say or do anything about what was happening to me, I am happy to say that the man who was rubbing up against me on the bus finally stopped when an adult, with a look of rage on her face, walked up to our seat, ignored the man, and addressed me:

“Is he making you uncomfortable?” she asked, looking at him, and then me. “If he is making you uncomfortable, you can move, you know? Just move.”

She had said it loudly, with great concern, so that everyone could hear it. She had addressed me, and not him, probably because she wondered whether she was imagining what she was seeing… just like I had wondered whether I was imagining what I was feeling. I looked up at her, we made eye contact, and the man, pressing the stop bell in a hurry, got up in a fluster and alighted the bus.

The fact that someone had seen and acknowledged what was going on concretized the fact that what had been happening was not in my head. Until today, I remember being overwhelmed by both gratitude towards a concerned stranger as well as shame at my own inability to act. The former remains. The latter has dissipated. And till today, I wonder how I would have eventually processed that incident in my child-mind, had she not intervened.

If we could nurture a culture that polices sex crime with the same vigour that it now polices gender and sexuality – culturally, legally and linguistically – I believe that incidences of rape and sexual assault will grow infinitely more rare. Over the course of all the SlutWalk debate, I have thought of this woman on the bus often and wondered why things are not as clear as they could and should be:

A crime has been committed. Speak up about it. Ignore the cultural hogwash. Police the criminal. Do not blame the victim.

I do not understand why people don’t get it. It really is that simple. And the onus is not on survivors of rape to get this message out. The onus is on everyone.

–

Tania De Rozario is an artist and writer. She has showcased her work in Singapore and abroad and is co-founder/curator of Etiquette, Singapore’s first annual arts event focused on feminist issues.

A Hedgebrook alumna and 2011 winner of the SPH-NAC Golden Point Award for English poetry, her work has been published in various journals. She also freelances as an art writer, conducts drawing workshops at the Substation and tutors in Contemporary Contextual Studies at LASALLE College of the Arts thrice a week.

by Dr. Martha Lee

by Joyce Chng

On the 4th of Dec, I participated in Slutwalk Singapore as a volunteer usher. I had been looking forward to it ever since news of it came out months before – and that many of us had been brainstorming about having one. Kudos to the team for working so hard for these six months to get things going!

You may ask me why I participated. As a SF/F (Science Fiction/Fantasy) writer and reader, I would think that we would envision worlds we WANT to live in. Worlds safe from danger, violence, assault and hatred. Worlds that people could walk free and freely without fear or prejudice. Am I a bra-burning feminist? No. But I believe strongly in a world safe for women (and men). Am I a feminist? Yes. (Note: I have seen bras burnt before – they catch fire pretty quickly once the fire retardant on them stops working)

I wrote about Reclaim The Night before and I am so glad to see Slutwalk Singapore happening.

Now, the good things:

The people. Man, they came and they kept on coming. The organizers actually planned for 300, but 600 turned up, many with their spouses or partners with them. In a way, I am glad to see allies supporting the event. The rain didn’t dampen spirits, but it did drive away some of the participants. I loved the energy though – we had music, Muay Thai, talks and yummy drinks. Meeting new people and talking to them. I love it!

Forgetful me forgot to bring my camera, so I didn’t manage to capture the movement, the colors and the interaction of the great folks at the event. The ground might be soggy with Milo-brown mud, but heck, we all had a GOOD time.

Now, the bad things.

The (male) photographers and media: I am all for media publicity helping with the awareness. But after hearing some Slutwalk attendees talking about media harassment during the event, I started to think about safe spaces. At the same time, I was also leery and uncomfortable with the number of male photographers turning up in droves and asking to take individual or group shoots of attendees. I remember commenting to another attendee about the male gaze. Objectification is still prevalent. Were the photographers looking for photo opportunities or were they waiting for the chance to look at scantily-clad women? I am reminded too of anime conventions where photographers, mostly men, take pictures of the cosplayers. Objectification is still prevalent.

Now, for the future:

More Slutwalk Singapore.: We definitely need more space to voice out issues Singapore might want to hide from the public. We definitely need more space for women to be themselves without fear or harassment. Perhaps, a women-only event?

Many thank yous to the organizers who made Slutwalk Singapore happen!

–

Joyce Chng is Singaporean, writes science fiction and wants the streets to be safe. She maintains a blog at A Wolf’s Tale.

by Kirsten Han

I don’t know what I’ll be doing  the day SlutWalkSG is happening. I may be working, I may not. But if I can, I’ll be at SlutWalk SG.

Before I go any further, please read this, taken from the official website (there are many people who appear to be confused about what SlutWalk is all about, which makes many discussions/debates pointless because everyone’s talking at cross-purposes):

We seek to:

• - Challenge the sentiment that it is acceptable to live in a victim-blaming society as we do, where we are taught “don’t get raped,” instead of “don’t rape.”

• - Emphasize that no means no, yes means yes, and that only our words can consent for us — not our bodies or our clothes, and regardless if we participate in sex for pleasure or for work.

• - Fight the stereotypes and myths of sexual assault (e.g. men jumping out of bushes) and supporting a better understanding of why sexual violence happens (not limited to physical violence), supporting victims and survivors.

• - Create an understanding that sexual assault affects all genders, while acknowledging the fact that it disproportionately affects women.

• - Create a network of safe spaces for survivors of sexual assault to seek solace and empowerment.

• - Reclaim the right to express our sexuality without fear by critically examining the value system imposed upon the word ‘slut’. One does not need to identify as a ‘slut’ to be part of SlutWalk — our ultimate goal is not to reclaim the word, instead we are reclaiming the right to express our sexuality without fear.

It is also important to emphasise that SlutWalk is not demanding that people identify as ‘sluts’, or that they show up dressed in skimpy/slutty outfits. In fact, the website also states:

SlutWalk Singapore is asking you to COME AS YOU ARE — whether in t-shirt and jeans, in fishnets, in a sari, in a jacket, or in a tudung. No matter how you visually identify, we are welcoming ALL those who feel that prevailing attitudes as to why sexual assault happens need to change. We believe in the simple concept that everyone deserves to be respected for who they are.

Comments about SlutWalk

As to be expected, SlutWalk has generated rather heated debate in Singapore, and there are many, many people who object to it for various reasons. I respect that some people have their personal reasons for not wishing to support SlutWalk, and that’s fine. No one is saying that everyone in Singapore has to participate in this event, or start promoting the message if you don’t wish to.

However, it just gets annoying when people’s opposition to SlutWalk stem from ignorance or close-mindedness, or when these people resort to hurling abuse at the organisers and supporters of SlutWalk.

I managed to extract quite a number of posts from just one thread on SlutWalk on The Online Citizens’ Facebook page, and just felt like I should put my thoughts and responses down in one place.

Ah, this old chestnut. It crops up in pretty much every civil rights campaign in Singapore that I’ve seen. I’ve blogged about this argument here, and feel that it applies to this situation too.

Organising an event such as SlutWalk (not to mention all the fringe events around it) is not easy. It takes up a lot of time, energy, money and grief. I don’t know them personally, but I can guarantee you that SlutWalk’s organisers actually do have better things to do than “copy” foreign movements just to “look cool”. For crying out loud, just look at all the abuse they’ve been getting! Do you really think they are doing this just because they haven’t got anything better to do during the weekend?

SlutWalk’s message of expressing one’s sexuality without fear and being against victim-blaming is not just “Western liberal shit”. It is also about respect for fellow human beings, and not heaping more hurt and shame on to existing pain. This is not about culture. It’s about treating a fellow human decently.

“We don’t need SlutWalk, we’re fine, we don’t have this problem.”

Really? Is there no rape in Singapore at all? Do people not judge others according to the way they choose to express their sexuality? It is not just about the law or the Women’s Charter: it is about social mindsets and how we as a community perceive or reject others.

Have you ever heard someone say, “Look at what she’s wearing! She’s just asking for trouble.” Or have you ever heard people talking about a woman who has had a number of boyfriends as if she somehow has loose morals, or is dirty? Have you ever been taught that it is up to the girl to reject sex because men are all out for only one thing and if a girl has sex with a boy she loses her “virtue”?

These things may not have been said with the specific intent of slut-shaming or victim-blaming, but they betray a prevailing mindset that women should be harshly judged for owning their sexuality. This paradigm seems to assume that men are allowed to go out there and have sex and be excused because “that’s just how they are”, while women should keep that sex drive under wraps or be labelled as trash.

Guess what? This mindset exists in Singapore. It exists everywhere, which is why women all over the world have been able to identify with the SlutWalk message.

And to prove that it exists in Singapore, take a look at some of the comments listed in this post: The Big SlutWalk Singapore Trolling Wankfest of Doom.

Thankfully, there are Singaporean men who have come forward to counter the SlutWalk-bashing slut-shaming men:

Why I support SlutWalk

In Toronto in February 2011 Constable Michael Sanguinetti, speaking at a York University safety forum, said that “women should avoid dressing like sluts in order to not be victimised.”

I have two objections to this:

1. The claim that the way you dress gets you raped is a gross-simplification. If that were true, what about the women who were modestly dressed – or even in burqas – who get raped? On top of that, this statement also doesn’t take in other variables, the most important being the rapist’s action of raping you.

and

2. His statement betrays a view that “sluts” (probably defined as women who wear revealing clothes or women who are visibly sexually available) deserve to get raped, so much so that you would have brought your rape upon yourself just by looking like one.

Do I wear skimpy clothes? Not usually (although I suppose that would depend on your definition of skimpy). Do I identify as a slut? No. But I do not accept that a woman’s sexual history gives us the right to dehumanise, objectify and judge her.

And at the end of the day, that is what SlutWalk is about. Support it or don’t support it; there’s no need to get your knickers in a twist.

–

Kirsten Han is a multi-tasker (writing, blogging, videoing) and social media junkie interested in human rights issues. She also likes to travel, take photographs and — above all else — tell stories. She’s spent far too many years living with internalized slut-shaming, and she’s had enough.

She blogs at funny little world and tweets as @kixes.

The much-anticipated line-up for SlutWalk Singapore 2011 (4 Dec, Hong Lim Park, 4pm-7pm) has been announced!

We’re proud to have these people with us.

Music: Johnny Eye Glass // Seyra // Jen Lin (DJ)

Performances: Muay Thai Demonstration by Vanessa Lee // Fire Dancers

Speeches: SlutWalk Organizers + more to be announced!

Booths: SlutWalk Merchandise booth // SlutWalk Logbook booth // Sexual Assault literature “library” // Drinkdings drinks booth // BackatMONKS // Eros Coaching // Maid By Me // Hello Stranger // Sayoni // Women’s Muay Thai SG // AWARE Sexual Assault Befrienders Service (SABS) // Oogachaga

We are proudly sponsored by these amazing groups/organizations: Sayoni, The Patatas, Eros Coaching, Sheeps, Drinkdings, & BackatMONKS

by Magda A.

s.e. smith – and other disability rights activists, too, like Anna Hamilton and lauredhel – has written a lot about how rape, assault, and abuse disproportionately affect people with disabilities. Which is really a very simple and obvious concept, and something I’ve always accepted. Until I sat down and thought today, and then it clicked, and I realised how personal the political is.

In context: I have, in order of the severity of their effect on my life at present, manic depression, anxiety disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, paranoia, and obsessive-compulsive disorder – none of which I have diagnoses for, which does not make them any less real, but which does make the acquisition of accommodations/accessibility needs very much more difficult.

Also in context: I have experienced one sexual assault and two abusive relationships. It is my prerogative not to go into further detail about the circumstances of these experiences unless I want to.

Something I’ve come to realise is how easily my disabilities can be used against me. For example, I was raped while debilitated by a depressive episode. For example, I have been manipulated into returning to abusive partners because of my anxiety and the sense of inferiority that depression causes. And anxiety makes it much more difficult to leave because of the strong sense of worry and fear; PTSD raises the bar for psychological vulnerability.

I am aware that identifying as a woman is already a significant risk factor for assault and abuse. The figures that range from 1 in 4 to 1 in 6 have been criticised by many for being too broad, since they often have sexual harassment under the definition of sexual assault. I will say that I find these figures insufficiently inclusive.

Firstly, the outrage over the definition of assault trivialises and minimises certain forms of assault – effectively dismissing and erasing the very real trauma and hurt that survivors can experience. It seems to says – it does say – that we are not ‘really’ survivors unless we’re complete wrecks, as real rape victims should be. It demands that we perform the complete destruction of our minds, our bodies, our selves in order to have our identities and experiences validated.

[What an awful word as well: victims. I’m not a victim. I’m still here. Still breathing. Still trying to breathe. I’m a survivor.]

Secondly – and this is also to my point – these statistics do not take into consideration the rate of non-reporting. And they especially do not acknowledge – a dear friend wrote about this a while back, and was hassled so bad by supposed ‘allies’ – the impact that this has on marginalised groups, who are of course even less likely – much,much less likely – to report being assaulted and risk being attacked all over again. Transgender women. Non-binary people. Women of colour. Disabled people. Rape is a weapon, and it brutalises again by forcing silence onto our bodies.

I’ve voiced my paranoia before. (And, damn, I know some paranoia is irrational, but not all.) I’ve been told – let me paraphrase – ‘If you do not stop fearing that I hurt you, which enrages me, I will actually hurt you.’

I’ve spoken out about my PTSD. The abuser I left delights in triggering me, in cornering me and coercing me into reliving my experience for his consumption and enjoyment.

I’ve discussed my anxiety and depression, which are used against me, against my credibility, as though these disabilities impair my judgement and my ability to articulate my experiences. And mania, which can impair judgement, has also been used to coerce me into unwanted sexual contact (ergo assault).

This does not catch me in a paradox between living as a woman-identified survivor and a disabled survivor, having to mediate my responses to assault and abuse. This does raise my social vulnerability, as well as my sensitivity to the harmful tropes perpetuated about PWDs, about rape survivors, about abuse survivors who have not yet left or cannot leave the abusive situation.

Leaving abuse takes spoons. Leaving abuse takes a lot of mental energy that I do not have access to. The imperative to walk out does not take into account the psychological barriers that prevent me from leaving because I am dependent on abusers for emotional support and disability support; it does not take into account the disabilities that make it easier for them to prevent me leaving – that compel me to return to them, that make it easier for them to draw me back into the cycle of abuse. Along the same lines, the injunction to ‘get over it’ does not take into account the fact that the very experience of having PTSD precludes the model sort of recovery that society would prefer I perform.

Assault and abuse are feminist issues because they are gendered violences perpetuated disproportionately against women and non-binary-identified people, supported by the toxicity of rape culture. But they are intersectional issues because they are also perpetuated disproprtionately against those of us who belong to multiple marginalised communities.

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Magda A. is a young intersectional feminist and academic finding her way in the world.

On Dec 4th, 4 SlutWalks will be taking place throughout Asia. They will be occurring in solidarity in Singapore (that’s us!), Hong Kong, Bangalore, and Mumbai. We have a quick chat with one of the organizers from SlutWalk Bangalore, Dhillan, to find out more about what’s been happening in their city.

–

It’s amazing to see SlutWalk being organized in Bangalore. How did the idea for it first come about?
Well, it has been quite something to get it up and going here. How did it first come about? Wow, the answer is probably a testament to Facebook’s brilliance. I had been following the SW movement across the world, and felt that if any country in the world needed a wake-up call on this issue, it was India. The way women are looked at, perceived and treated in India has always pissed me off, severely angered me! Not to mention that we are perhaps the world’s hotbed for sexual repression… these were all issues very close and personal to me. So I thought a SlutWalk in Bangalore would be very relevant. I put up a status message on Facebook mentioning that I wanted to do a SlutWalk in Bangalore and anyone who was interested in working on it could get in touch with me. The response was just crazy! And so, it just got rolling from there…

We’ve heard that you are renaming the SlutWalk in Bangalore to Gejje Hejje. Can you explain what the term means? Why did you choose to rename the march?
Ahhh… we’re not renaming SlutWalk; it’s more like a parallel name. A lot of people here don’t speak English, and the term “SlutWalk” would pretty much leave them lost, since they’d have no clue what it’s about. And the idea is to reach out to as many people as possible: not just the Facebooking, English-speaking types, but even those who do not have access to the Internet, who still suffer sexual abuse quite regularly (maybe even more than the upper middle-class normally does). We felt the movement is equally relevant to them, and that it should be accessible to everyone who faces these situations. Hence we wanted a parallel name in Kannada (the regional language) that they can understand.

Gejje Hejje literally means “Anklet Footsteps”… but it’s much better understood in a historical context. Courtesans, concubines and “Devadasis” (religious sex slaves of sorts) often wore anklets on their feet as part of dance performances to entertain the upper class men. So, there is an association with the anklet and the sexual role its wearer played. Hence we thought it would be appropriate word play to call it Gejje Hejje. Besides, Hejje does rhyme with Gejje.

How have responses from the public been like?
Well, responses have been good. I feel like we need to reach out a lot more and we’re working towards it, but can’t say I’m unhappy with how the public has reacted so far. We haven’t had any strong negative reactions at all, and that’s a great relief. No heat from political organizations, right-wing extremists and the moral police in general. Those who know what we’re about have been extremely encouraging and supportive of our endeavour, the college students have been amazing… but we’ve had people who’ve been passive too. They
want to show us their encouragement, but are too scared to. It’s a typical Indian thing: “What will happen if my parents get to know?”, “What if they see me out on TV?” People are fighting these conservative battles in their own homes.

We have gotten a good amount of attention from the media. And all the newspapers have written about us in a very positive light, which is amazing. But I would like if more TV channels and radio stations respond to what we’re doing. But radio stations in India are quite a gutless bunch, so we couldn’t expect much. General sentiments around the event have been encouraging,
people think we’re an active bunch of citizens organizing a much-needed initiative. I’m still waiting to see how the government and police react to this.

We understand that you organized a flash mob not too long ago in the lead-up to the event. Can you tell our readers a little bit more about what inspired that, how it was executed, and the responses it sparked?
Oh yeah! That was a lot of fun. A flash mob was something we wanted to do from the start. We decided to do a freeze mob, since those are easy to choreograph and can still be very powerful; our idea was to have people freeze in positions that stimulate sexual abuse (groping, staring, grabbing, etc) and so we came up with different positions that we could do, paired people up and got down to practice. The entire group of 50 people practiced only for one afternoon before we hit the streets. We did 2 freeze mobs, one at a very busy junction in the heart of the city, and the other one at a mall.

The reactions were CRAZY! About 1500 people stopped to watch us freeze for 5 mins in positions that represented sexual abuse. They made their kids take photos with our “statue people”, tried to distract us, pulled on our hair/clothes, took photographs, guessed what we were promoting… it was quite crazy. At the mall, people gave us a standing ovation after we broke
our 8 minute freeze. It was brilliant! And, interestingly people got what we were trying to communicate; the point wasn’t lost on them at all.

What are the attitudes like with regards to victim-blaming/slut-shaming in Bangalore? Have there been any local cases highlighting such behaviour?
In Bangalore, it isn’t as bad as certain other parts of the country. But for global standards, it’s still horrible. Victim-blaming is rampant on a daily basis, and women are blamed on the most bizarre grounds. Women in “Western clothing” are considered to be of loose morals and character. Those who smoke, drink and socialize are considered the worst type of human being. And the thought of dating is just morally repulsive to most parents and authorities. Educational institutions are also highly responsible for pushing these perceptions. Have there been any local cases? FAR TOO MANY to even begin recollecting.

Mumbai has also agreed to be a part of this solidarity movement between our 2 cities, and Hong Kong on the 4th of Dec. Has there been much correspondence/coordination on that end, since the 2 cities are both located in India?
Actually no; this is the first time im hearing about a Mumbai march on Dec 4th. I knew that Mumbai was planning to have its own SlutWalk, but I had no idea when it was happening. We haven’t been corresponding much. It’s so damn hectic getting all things in place for our own march, there is lots we tend to miss out on.

What is your main goal for Gejje Hejje?
My main goal is to get people to converse and acknowledge the problem. Every solution begins with acknowledging a problem, and we have not even reached that part. We’re in a situation where most things with regards to sexual abuse are just swept under the rug. I just hope Gejje Hejje gets people to start conversing about the problem and spread awareness in their own circles. I hope it gets parents and teachers to open up, and start talking about these things at home and in school. An 8 year old boy is impressionable and open in his mind. Conversation can make all the difference between who he becomes as an adult: a gentleman or a sleaze-ball.

How are you planning to preserve continuity? Do you intend to make the protest a yearly thing, are there going to be more events planned as a result from it?
Possibly a yearly protest, but we’re planning on diversifying in many different ways. I want to develop media properties like podcasts and video virals that continue to touch upon various aspects within the broader issue of sex, sexual abuse and social attitudes towards it. We’re also looking at establishing a sustainable model of educational workshops and outreach programs. And maybe even taking our AFR (Abuse First Responder) course out to more
audiences, there’s so much we can do. But yes, it does NOT end with the walk; it only begins there. Will the march itself be a yearly thing? Well, hopefully… but let’s see what else it turns into. You never know how things take shape.

Thank you for the interview. Any last words?
You’re most welcome, thank you so much for the interest. Last words… never been too good on that front, but I’d say it’s so important to talk and put things out in the open. Everything begins from there, so we need to consciously focus on not suppressing issues, no matter how taboo or awkward it may seem to bring them up. With regards to India, I’d say a country’s progress is truly measured by how well its women are treated, and on that scale, we are nowhere! So let’s accept that, and begin working in a positive direction instead of pompously misleading ourselves with “Indian culture” arguments.

by Shimona Ng

The New Paper ran a story that distorted SlutWalk’s goals, which created a massive backlash against the campaign, sparked rage on the web, and drew an army of trolls to SlutWalk.

Three major ways The New Paper distorted SlutWalk’s goals

1. We believe “mentally raping” is actual rape

The New Paper made it seem like we equate “mentally raping” with rape. They printed these terrible quotes without any context:

The elderly man was staring down at me, as if he was mentally raping me. I asked him in Hokkien: ‘Uncle, what are you looking at?’ Then he looked away.

and

When a woman dresses up, she is bound to get some attention, but she is not asking for rape.

Why did they print this in a SlutWalk feature? Why didn’t they denounce it? Their intentions are clear: They wanted to turn the movement into a joke. They wanted to make people enraged. They might as well have printed: “I was playing StarCraft 2 and a bunch of banelings blew up all my marines, it was like being virtually raped.” Or, “I bought a lightsaber on eBay and got hit with a huge customs tax, it was like being fiscally raped.” Or, “I am a designer and I was forced to use Comic Sans, it was like being artistically raped”. What do all these statements have in common? All of it is irrelevant to SlutWalk. All of it trivialises rape and makes a mockery out of real suffering. All of it, and anything like it, should have been either A) not printed or B) printed and condemned by The New Paper. Instead, they printed it and left it floating in a vacuum.

People brilliantly decided this person was representative of everyone going for SlutWalk and hurled their hate at SlutWalk. The internet exploded with anger:

Arcturuz says: elderly man has every right to check you out bitch.

Societe says: Might as well erect laws to allow them to dig the eyes of guys whom they dont like out.

Fyukpap says: they are trying to legalize public scolding on men who “rape” them even with their eyes.

Badzmaro says: So now we are all presumed guilty until proven innocent?

Fudgester says: if they’re stupid enough to organize this idiotic event, they fully deserve all the ogling they’re gonna get on that day.

Elindra says: I cannot understand this SlutWalk movement. If you want to dress skimply, expect men to ogle.

2. We are a copy of a movement for “the right to dress sexy”

They tried to make it seem like SlutWalkSG was a blindly-copied, substanceless version of SlutWalk, with A) No sluttiness and B) No walking. They helpfully wrote:

But you don’t have to dress like a slut to take part in SlutWalk Singapore. And, oh, there is no walk either.

Unlike SlutWalks held in western countries where skimpy outfits to protest against sexual violence, SlutWalk Singapore organisers here urge supporters to “come as they are” – whether in T-shirt and jeans, fishnets, sari women thronged the streets in, jacket or tudung.

Why adopt the name SlutWalk when they have chosen to downplay the word “slut”?

They even had a whole separate article called “Experts: smart to give it a local twist”.

Every single SlutWalk has encouraged people to wear whatever they want. SlutWalk Austin proudly states on their Facebook page, they ‘encourage all to wear what feels comfortable’. SlutWalk Melbourne’s FAQ says there is “no need to dress differently from how you normally would.” SlutWalk San Francisco’s blog says, “Wear what makes you feel comfortable, whether that’s a tiny dress or a long-sleeve floor-length dress.”

And SlutWalk Singapore is no different — the clothes are not the point. The point is to break free from the shame created by traditional stereotypes and conventional ideas about sexuality, and reclaim the freedom to express our sexuality without fear of being labelled a certain way.

The New Paper also declares we are campaigning for “the right to dress sexy.”

They ran this on their front page:

Why protest? We want the right to dress sexy.

And they named their article “Slutty? We’re just sexy.”

Over and over again, they printed random nonsense about sexiness:

“… you can dress sexily and not look slutty.”

“We all have the right to dress sexy.”

“When we were young, our parents told us not to dress too sexy…”

Who said these things? The ramblings of a few people who they say ‘support’ SlutWalkSG; by The New Paper’s definition, anyone who says they might (or might not) turn up for SlutWalk. Or anyone who says dressing sexy is great (but only for people who have a “good figure”). Or anyone who thinks dressing sexy is fine except “we also need to be aware of the risk when we do so and take precautions.” Do any of these people sound like actual SlutWalk supporters?

Let’s get this straight: SlutWalk fights for the right to express our sexuality free from shame, hate and abuse. Sexuality is infinitely more complex and beautiful than “dressing sexy.” The New Paper twisted our mission into something people could make fun of without thinking critically about any of the issues surrounding sexual diversity, sex choices and freedom from sexual abuse.

Haters take to the internet to rage about this lazy, frivolous movement:

Dalforce says: People dressed as sluts you also want to follow. No brain. People eat shit, you also eat shit ar?

Handsome boy says: I don’t know if this whole SlutWalk thing is necessary or relevant in Singapore, or if it’s just another copycat idea by women here who think that just because some women in a Western country is affected by it, they should be too.

Dalforce 25 says: There is no need to follow western sluts. I oppose the slut walk.

Societe says: should ship all of them to Middle East or Africa or India/Pakistan and give them the equality they want. Living in poverty and fear of being raped or splashed acid/slashed by spurned men, getting belted by husbands for not having cooked dinner when he reaches home.

Dalforce25 says: All these things have nothing whatsoever to do with local people.

Twinings says: these people are taking things for granted as singapore is supposedly “safe” as compared to other countries. Try asking these females to wear the way they wear to India, or even up north.

Dalforce 25 says: Our local people don’t have the tradition of women dressing up as sluts in public. This is against local tradition. I completely disapprove. Pui. Garbage.

Societe says: Women in Singapore are too bloody free, look at Pinoys, Indonesian women, Chinese sent everywhere to be maids and whores.

Plasticpistola says: they should hold slutwalk at some taliban stronghold in afghanistan. then they’ll REALLY know what is women’s’ rights.

Societe says: they should go US and see what equality they have. No jobs. Kena whack and abused by husband.

Jabberwocker says: not as if singapore have issues of having high rape cases due to women dressing scantily.  i heard some countries have lah, but not appilcable to SG ba. Some women just love to stir shit so much…

Societe says: what’s wrong? Singapore girls have the best life in the whole farking world. girls elsewhere either get raped, molested or be worried that they would be raped/molested or disfigured, out of jobs or in poverty. here in Singapore all happily wait for their prince and protected by law and charter, dont have to do NS, low birthrate and they still want equality. what a joke.

3. We are a select group of privileged women

What did The New Paper put on its front page? A full-page image of a stereotypically-attractive, female-bodied Chinese person — with typically-feminine long, black, flowing hair, staring and pouting into the camera in a modelesque way that conforms to conventional ideas about sexy.

Inside the paper, we are greeted by more pictures of young, thin, Chinese women with the same long, blow-dried hair wearing uniformly revealing outfits— miniskirts, cleavage-baring tops; clothes that people would consider sexy only if they define ‘sexy’ in a very narrowly defined way.

When you go to SlutWalkSG’s website, what is the first thing you see? Pictures of real supporters. And these first few pictures depict a diversity far greater than The New Paper chose to portray. We see people of different ethnicities and genders sporting everything from tee shirts and hijabs to piercings and dreadlocks. Clearly, SlutWalkSG is much more inclusive than The New Paper wants you to think.

Take a look at SlutWalkSG’s teaser video, Slut Tease. It becomes even clearer that SlutWalk SG is for everyone — people of all body sizes/types, all ethnicities, all walks of life, all genders, all sexual orientations, including people from the LGBTQ community, the BDSM community, alternative lifestyle and poly scenes — decked out in tattoos, dresses, leather, formal shirts, and BDSM gear. SlutWalkSG is hardly the homogeneous group The New Paper would have you believe.

Despite this, people feel empowered to make a variety of sexist comments to discredit the female clones of SlutWalk:

Platee says: EPIC PHAIL. ONLY PROVES WOMEN HAS NO BASIC INTELLIGENCE’

Rock^Star says: I think women in slutwalk have pretty low IQ.

Plasticpistola says: women’ and ‘logic’ is an oxymoron.

Fyukpap says: the law states : Man is reasonable” when did it say that women are?

Boink! says: these gurls are better off in the kitchen making me a samwich!

Motherliquor.P says: Later become like occupy raffle place one la. cos they busy making sandwiches.

Globe says: is this another one of those meaningless girl power thing … got so much time why dun spending it trying to help up the singapore population instead of doing this nonsense thing.

Ohayo! says: women are the ones responsible for slut-shaming, ‘actually, guys dont call them sluts. they(women) call each other that.

Deadbeat says: women hate women. FACT!

Siliconchip says: Yuck, there might be some fat, saggy aunties in it. People will be blinded.

Zuzuvovo says: please QC before letting them go there lol.. i have a feeling all pudge wearing mini skirts.

Senna Wales says: If those women are 601, naked also no feeling.

Ohmydog says: I’m protesting this movement. the term slut are prefer to beautiful sexy woman. singapore woman? go be transformer instead…

Gottafilling says: I expect a lot of lians to turn up…

PoYePoLuoMi claims these women are just trying to seduce foreign men: just rike SPG… wanna choose angmo partners rather den asian one CB.

CSNation agrees emphatically: SPG tactic — 1) Wear boyfriend T-shirt or his office shirt, 2) Go commando, 3) Wear slippers, 4) Meet ur like minded sistars., 5) Parade down orchard road, 6) Hook some angmohs, 7) ?????????

The distortions raise an army of trolls

A vast array of people have expressed interest in coming to SlutWalk to: stalk, troll, slap, spit on, hurl stones at, take downblouse photos of, and sexually humiliate these ‘sluts’:

[TRIGGER WARNING]

Societe says: can we spit at the sluts? they call themselves sluts ma. no one else did.

Somatic3 says: I will bring down a sign that says: ‘Come redempt your Free Bitch Slap, SLUTS.

Unaware says: Just gather along the road where they gonna walk and keep making those kissing sounds and wolf-whistle. Then maybe go “Very naise, how much?” ala Borat.

Lousydk says: singapore men should have a Anti-sluts walk at the same date, time and location.

Stormthundarr says: Should organize lecherwalk, pedowalk, pervwalk.

Societe says: we go there point at them call them sluts, anyone game for it?

Stormthundarr: remembers fondly in some places, these sluts are paraded around in cages, and the villagers will throw rotten eggs, vegetables or even stones at them.

Deadbeat says: anyone interested going to troll them? count me in!

Arcturuz says: anyone wanna organise EDMW outing to Hong Lim with DSLR cams? Take photos of all the sluts and show them what’s dirty EDMW men.

Crabs. says: who will bring ladder and their dslr camera there?

Leaving_footsteps says: Just don’t kpkb when people take photos etc. You asked for it. Don’t complain when you get it.

-Kent- says: how about a walk to celebrate the freedom to look at women without being called dirty old men?

Societe says: Let’s start a Dirty Old Man Stroll.

Marill says: girls who call themselves sluts will be walking around to let men beo them dips dips! sibeh sexciting!

It degenerates into a big victim-blaming, slut-shaming wankfest

[HUGE TRIGGER WARNING]

Kel666 says: u have the right to dress as sluts, those perverts have the right to rape u lol.

ZerozeroZero says: Essentially there’s nothing much to be debated here. Rapists are rapists, you dress skimpily you will arouse them and they will rape you.

Fyukpap says: by inviting and if they got raped, only they themselves are to be blamed.

Don’tmakemecereal-lie says: i wonder if someone organises a RapeWalk on the day of SlutWalk.

Genericperson says: The logic and reasoning of slutwalk is quite questionnable leh, if it is their right to be a slut, what if someone happen to rape them is it not the right of the rapist to rape them?

Rhater says: Well, you can do anything you wanted. But whatever happens that caused by what you done, you have to accept it. If you are clever, then find ways to prevent it.

ZerozeroZero says: Like, if i rode a bike without a helmet and smash my head, i cant blame the bike for being fail. Because even if the bike fails, had i wore a helm, my head wouldnt be smashed.

Twinings says: dressing like one [a slut] increases the probability [of rape].

Genericperson says: for me (as a man) it is illogical. It is very much like you are showing/parading/inviting people to buy something then refused to sell them the said stuff. It’s like you women went past shoe shop that shows off all those shoes that you like and they refuse to sell those shoes to you.

AngryPiglet says: They want to be sluts… and yet they want men to respect them.. What irony.

AKTSUKIKeeper says: you dress for the respect you want what. dress what you want lah, just prepare for the consequence.

Alvyn07 says: I don’t understand. My parents taught me never to flaunt expensive: 1. Watches 2. Gadgets 3. Phones 4. Etc if I didn’t want people to steal them. Isn’t it thus common fu*king sense to NOT flaunt ur assets if you don’t want anything bad to happen to you?!

Jeraldine says: We should be allowed to wear whatever we want, its our RIGHT.” is equivalent to “we should be allowed to ‘express’ our wealth when we are walking home alone late at night!” or “We should be allowed to leave all our doors unlocked! It is our right!”

Somatic3 says: You want something and demand something, you pay a price. Ladies who deem that they have a right of not being a victim of a rape for dressing scantly, is wrong. What you claim is that rapist who cannot control their libido is to be blamed, instead of you wearing scantly? And that if you say no the rapist is just to walk away? Clearly something is amiss here. You decide to flaunt your “assets”, you pay the price “if” a mishap happen to you, this has nothing to do with whether you have the right to wear whatever you want. It goes both ways, not just one way. Same for flaunting your valuables outside, you pay a price for the “Recklessness”.

Yeshenyue says: [In reply to: "If she says "no", then it is the man's responsibility to resist the temptation of sexual desire and greater physical strength"] The motion is absolutely ridiculous. It does nothing to help men get over getting horny over a girl who dresses skimpily because it’s NATURAL reaction.

Bangulzai says: they are s-l-u-t because they invite l-u-s-t.

The Big SlutWalk Singapore Trolling Wankfest of Doom has shown us how incredibly important it is for us to bring SlutWalk to Singapore. We need to break this vicious cycle of victim-blaming and rape apologism. We must break the silence around sexual abuse created by pointless hating and shaming.

SlutWalk has created a moment in space and time where all of us can take a stand against slut-shamers and haters who claim expressing our sexuality is disgracing or degrading, and come together to create a better world where no one will ever have to be ashamed of being raped or abused again. Let’s seize this chance to join the universal fight against sexual violence, by bringing our bodies, voices and ideas to Hong Lim Park for the first ever SlutWalk Singapore.

Further reading:
The New Paper: Slutty? We’re just sexy

Stomp: SlutWalk S’pore: “If women have the right to dress sexy, men have the right to look”

Hardwarezone Forum: SlutWalk Hits Singapore

SgForums: SG women prepare to take part in SlutWalk at Hong Lim Park

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Shimona has been helping out with SlutWalkSG’s marketing campaign.

by Benjamin Seet

Slutwalk is scary, because it challenges comfortable notions of gender, sexuality and what it means to be a free person. But freedom can never be discussed in abstraction from the world we have no choice but to be born into. For one, we have little control over what we were taught; categories that are taken for granted which filter our perceptions of people and the world. Gender is one of them. We can never shake off looking at someone and intuitively slotting them into that familiar category of female/male. But we can challenge that.

The notion of gender goes further than persons male/female and carries with it
lengthy assumptions about the nature of each. The word ‘slut’ in its most fundamental, oft-used meaning is not so much promiscuity, but rather a woman that cannot be defined independent of a man; what else is the conventional meaning for slut than a being for the male person? Moreover, a slut is usually deemed so because she accessorizes her body (with clothes, as we all do) in ways that fit into the conventional category of the woman as flesh.

Discomfort to Slutwalk by some feminists lie in the Walk’s possible reinforcement of these categories of women as flesh and the lack of self-definition that is embedded in the meaning of ‘slut’. But we must never forget that the continuum from sexual harassment to rape operates on these categories as well, and more violently at that.

What it then means when the Slutwalk movement talks about reclaiming the
word ‘slut’ should I think, be the destabilizing and redefinition of the very categories that make sexual offenses possible. I have no long definition of “sexual offenses” other than the encroachment into a person’s autonomy over h/er body that s/he is entitled to as a person. The gendered categories of woman as flesh, the slut (or even woman) as unable to attain self-definition without the other gender, and the woman as lacking in free-will in the eyes of the sex offender are not aberrations to the ‘usual’ order of things, but part of our (or rather, most people’s) everyday assumptions and categories of gender.

One can change the way she/he dresses, but it doesn’t change these more basic,
constructed assumptions of gender that enable sexual offenses.

Here is what I think: “slut” (or whatever cosmetic changes a later movement makes to the word’s spelling) can be re-appropriated. It is simply that: whatever way a woman dresses, it should be seen (by both women and men) as something she chooses for herself and as an expression, not of herself as object, but as a complex, free and interactive being.

SlutWalks are an aberration; no one conducts SlutWalks every day. But the theme of SlutWalk reaches deep into the everyday. We relate to each other and see the world as gendered beings, not because it is in nature, but simply because we have been socialized into doing so. We can never (in any Zen-like fashion) transcend gender altogether, in fact to pretend that we can is to excuse ourselves from grappling with it. But we sure as hell can challenge it (or at least the pernicious aspects of it), and challenge it with vigour in our everyday interactions.

And we don’t have to wait for a Walk to start doing that.

–

Benjamin is 23 and doing Political Science in NUS.